


The Best Accident

by ohpleaselarry



Category: CrankGameplays - Fandom, Video Blogging RPF, markiplier - Fandom
Genre: Cheating, Denial, Fingering, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Gay Sex, Handcuffs, Kissing, M/M, Pain Kink, Pining, Riding, Sad bois, Smut, handjobs, shhh don’t read the tags they give too much away, then happy bois
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-18
Updated: 2020-01-18
Packaged: 2021-02-27 05:01:52
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 15,097
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22301512
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ohpleaselarry/pseuds/ohpleaselarry
Summary: It started out with a stupid kiss. Of course, then they had to make sure they weren’t actually gay with another kiss. Aaand another...and—well shit.
Relationships: Mark Fischbach/Ethan Nestor, Markiplier/CrankGameplays
Comments: 35
Kudos: 615





	The Best Accident

**Author's Note:**

> I wanted to get this done in time for New Years to line up with irl but writers block is a bitch so it’s real late.
> 
> I changed Amy and Mika’s names for the story out of respect. I hope nobody in this fic ever reads this yall pls forgive my gay sins 😭
> 
> Anyway let’s not talk about the fact that unus annus started in November and the beginning of the story is set in October lmao

——

It was more of a weird celebration than anything. At least, that’s what Ethan is trying to tell himself. 

-

They’d been at Mark’s, trying to figure out new unus annus ideas. They needed to have a recording day soon to add to the stockpile of videos, and they sat on the couch brainstorming. 

“Okay, I got it! We choose each other weird outfits then go to various social settings and record our embarrassment.” 

Ethan just raises an eyebrow in response, curled up against the arm rest of the couch hugging a pillow. He feels sleepy. It’s nearly midnight but they have to record tomorrow and have not nearly enough ideas. They’ve been doing the channel for a few good months now and Ethan thinks they may have hit some record creative block. Coming up with ideas for daily unus annus videos while simultaneously doing their own channels really takes up all the inspiration they have. 

Mark sighs, tossing his pen onto the blank notebook on the coffee table and sitting back. 

“Yeah, not great. There’s gotta be something we haven’t done! We could see if there’s any businesses in LA we haven’t recorded us going to?” Mark sounds hopeful. Ethan can’t relate. He pouts into the pillow. He’s big sad. 

“We’ve done all the businesses. Let’s just go back to middle school and do truth or dare or something.” He says sarcastically. His eyes droop shut. 

Mark’s weirdly quiet. Ethan opens his eyes again and glances up to find Mark smiling. He’s got his creative idea sparkle eyes going on. 

“Truth or dare, but the fans give us the prompts.” He says. Ethan blinks, the sleepiness quickly fading away. He sits up. 

“We have Ally and Evan get the prompts so we don’t know any. We have two hats, truth and dare, and we pick one without looking.” Ethan suggests. 

Mark stands up, grin on his face, voice raising a bit.

“They’re our fans so we know they’d give us some weird shit we’d never think of!” 

Ethan stands as well, grabbing the notebook and pen to quickly write everything. 

“Ooh, and if we refuse to do the prompt we have some uncomfortable consequence just on the tippy edge of what our bodies can take, like...like...”

“Tasers?!” Mark exclaims excitedly. 

“Fuck, not that close to the edge. I got it! We have them decide the consequences too!” 

Mark fists the air in celebration. 

“Genius! We don’t even have to do anything! They’ll choose some dirty shit, too. We’re gonna get gif’d to hell!” 

Ethan bounces on the ball of his feet with a grin, “I know! It’ll be awesome!” 

Maybe it was the sleep deprivation, maybe it was just the excitement to not have just a filler video idea, who knows, but Ethan’s just writing messily all the ideas they’re spewing out when Mark places his hands on his shoulders. 

“You’re a genius! Middle school games are so overdone but not with a twist!” He exclaims, then bends his neck to plant a kiss on his forehead. Ethan, very smart definitely socially intuitive Ethan, lifts his chin so the kiss lands on his lips. 

It’s more of a peck than anything. It’s not even two full seconds. Mark pulls back, eyes wide. Ethan’s frozen, can’t move or speak. He can feel the embarrassment heating up his neck. He doesn’t need to look in a mirror to know his ears have gone red. Mark’s not saying anything either. Hands still on his shoulders, he’s just looking at him with that shocked look. Finally, Ethan’s heartbeat isn’t so loud in his ears. He opens his mouth, letting the word vomit escape. 

“I don’t know why I did that. I’m sorry. That was so weird. I wasn’t trying to—I wasn’t gonna do any—I was just...” he stops talking when Mark blinks out of his shock and shushes him, hands finally dropping from his shoulders. 

“What? It’s fine. I don’t just kiss your forehead casually so it’s probably my fault. I was just excited. About the video..idea.” He scratches the back of his neck awkwardly. 

“Fuck this is awkward. I’m gonna go back to my place so we don’t die of embarrassment. Pretend it never happened and don’t tell a soul?” Ethan asks, slowly backing away from the heat he can feel standing so close to him. 

“Yes, definitely. Um...see you tomorrow?” Mark asks, still standing in the same spot, eyes wider than usual. 

“Yep!” Ethan says, far too peppy. He slips on his shoes without tying them and escapes out the front door. Once he’s safe in his car, he presses his forehead to the cool steering wheel, hoping the temp will make his blush go down. He closes his eyes, and tells himself the heart racing and the weird feeling in his stomach is just from embarrassment.

-

Walking into Mark’s backyard, Ethan chews on the inside of his lip nervously. He didn’t sleep much last night. He couldn’t stop thinking about what happened. Even worse, he’s desperately trying to delete the the wank he had once he’d gotten home from his memory. Not particularly the wank itself, more the fleeting thoughts he had during. And now he’s remembering it again. 

Forcing his brain blank, he scans the yard, finding Ally and Evan prepping for the video. They’ve got what looks like a picnic set up in the grass, with non-alcoholic grape juice and actual grapes. Mark’s perfecting the set up, adding a large picnic basket in the back centre of the blanket. 

Ethan approaches, casually stepping up next to Ally to ask what the plan is. 

“The picnic basket is separated down the middle. One side is truth and the other is dare. We’re gonna start off the video like you’re just having a regular picnic in the park. Mark casually asks truth or dare, and you open the side you want. The prompts are written on folded paper.” Ethan nods along. He tries to casually ignore Mark but Ally is fiddling with the camera as she talks, so he can’t just watch her like a conversation. 

His eyes drift uncontrollably. 

Mark’s done with the set up. The sun’s out today. It’s a nice not too hot not too cold temp. The man’s sat cross legged on the picnic blanket, leaning back on his hands, face up to the sky, eyes closed, like a cat who’s found the perfect sun spot. 

Ethan exhales shakily, tearing his eyes away quickly. 

“What about the consequences?” He asks, desperate to distract himself. 

Ally finishes with the camera settings and turns to him with a mischievous smile. 

“We have the consequences. You won’t know what they are until you pass. Go sit. We have more recordings today we can’t waste the sunlight!” She gently pushes him towards the blanket. 

Ethan shuffles over and sits, fingers fiddling nervously. He looks down at the grapes like he’s never seen fruit before. In his peripheral vision, he sees Mark open his eyes and look over. He keeps staring at the grapes like he doesn’t know, stomach flipping. 

“Ethan...” Mark’s voice is low. Is it deeper than usual? Ethan might be going crazy. He doesn’t look at him, taking one of the grapes and slowly peeling the skin like it’s an orange. 

“I’m sorry, okay? I’m embarrassed to hell. I know we said we were forgetting but I’m gonna be weird and awkward until the embarrassment wears off.” Ethan rambles quietly. Ally and Evan are working on cinematic shots, leading from the pool to the set up for the start of the video, so they have a minute or two. 

“I know. I just wanted to apologise. I didn’t last night and really it was my fault. I’m just as embarrassed. I didn’t sleep much cause I was worried you wouldn’t even show up today.” 

Mark sounds sad. Ethan’s eyes lift without his permission, finding Mark all puppy eyes and sincere and shit. More obvious now, the circles under his eyes and the worry line between his brows. 

“Why would I not show up?” Ethan murmurs. Ally and Evan are getting closer. They’re quick, even with doing each shot two times. 

“I dunno,” Mark says, “we can be funny still, right? For the video?” 

Ally and Evan are within ear shot, then, so Ethan doesn’t reply. 

“Alright, you guys ready?” Evan asks. They both say yes simultaneously, then their mics are on and the recording starts. 

-

It’s all fun and games until a truth question has the worst timing. 

Ethan, covered in ice water from refusing to call his Mom and tell her she has nice tits, takes a folded sheet from the truth side and reads it. Even with three pairs of eyes and four camera lenses on him, he attempts to casually set it aside and go for another, cheeks heating up. 

“Cheater!” Mark, adorning a permanent marker penis on his forehead because he wouldn’t pick up dogshit with his bare hands, exclaims with an accusing finger. 

“I pass on that one.” Ethan simply says, hoping they’ll let it slide. He looks at Mark, hoping he’ll telepathically get it. He doesn’t. 

“Nooo, you read it out loud then you take the consequence!” Mark says matter of factly. 

Ethan’s jaw clenches. Fuck. He should’ve just done it. Now they’re going to know it’s something worse than a pass. Something he doesn’t want them to know so then they’ll think it’s true. He wishes he’d of thought for even a second before trying to set it aside. Mark’s going to wish he’d have let it slide for sure. 

He picks back up the paper, unfolding it to read. 

“Have you ever kissed one of your YouTube friends on the lips?” Ethan reads, then looks right at Mark. He feels both cameras quick zoom onto his face. Mark’s got this comical instant regret look on his face. It’s weirdly satisfying. 

“Well, have you?” Mark asks, switching his expression to a devious smirk as if he’s looking for gossip and he’s not the exact YouTube friend Ethan kissed just last night. He’s challenging him. It’s almost mean. Ethan squints his eyes. Too soon. 

“Yes, actually, I have.” He says in his baby voice, then tosses the paper away sassily. He’s actually kinda salty but he plays it off as fun for the video, acutely aware of Mark’s whole ass girlfriend standing just a few feet away. 

“Who?!” Ally and Evan ask at the same damn time, both looking shocked. They’ll probably ask if he lied for the video after they finish recording. Ethan’s gonna mentally prepare for that now. 

“Not telling! The question only asked if I had, not who I had!” 

“They’re gonna have a field day with that mystery. I’ve got my bets on Bob.” Mark jokes, glancing at the camera. They laugh, and Ethan waggles his eyebrows in the background, playing the bit off just fine. 

-

Fresh out of the shower, Ethan’s just pulled on his sweatpants to finish getting dressed when there’s a knock at the door. A weirdly quiet knock. 

Ethan rubs at his damp hair with a towel as he steps over to the door. Getting egg and feathers and who knows what else out of his hair after that recording was hell. Those consequences were not joking around. 

Opening the door, Mark’s pushing his way in before Ethan can even say what’s up. The boy shuts and locks the door as soon as he’s in, then starts to pace around the room, looking almost angry. Ethan clutches his towel silently, feeling almost afraid. Mark’s forehead is red from getting the permanent marker penis off. Finally, he stops pacing and steps up to Ethan, who backs away instinctively. His back just hits the door behind him. He forgot he was just in front of it, apparently. 

“Okay, this is gonna sound crazy, but I don’t know about you but I can’t function with this. We need to kiss again. An actual kiss this time.” Mark’s eyes are wild, pupils dilated. 

“..What?” Ethan asks, eyebrows furrowing in confusion.

“I can’t stop thinking about it. The k-kiss, and it’s giving me all these weird ass thoughts that I can’t ignore and it’s making it hard to focus on literally anything. We gotta do an actual kiss so we can clear the air. Remember we aren’t gay pining friends for each other. Fuck, I sound insane.” Mark runs a hand through his hair, stressed. Ethan tosses the towel onto the floor. 

“No, I think that makes sense. The first time was just like a peck. It leaves too much for interpretation. Neither of us have ever been into guys so it’s confusing our brains. If we actually kiss we can lay it to rest and go back to our respective girlfriends.” 

Mark nods approvingly, then steps in close, eyes dropping to Ethan’s lips. The silence grows. Ethan’s heart hammers in his ears. The door is cold against his back. 

Without touching him anywhere else, Mark leans in slowly, then just does it. The kiss is slow, discovering, apprehensive. Definitely more than a peck. 

It’s different than girls, for sure. Mark’s stubble scratches at his chin. He’s a bit taller than him. Ethan can feel his body heat and can smell his shampoo. 

Suddenly, the kiss changes. Their mouths open a bit, it deepens. Mark’s hands suddenly grip his waist. Ethan just naturally for comfort slides his arms around Mark’s neck. One of Mark’s hands shift to his back, under his shirt, trailing up his spine. Ethan shivers in reaction. 

Then there’s tongue. Ethan’s brain is jumbled to hell. He can’t think of anything but this. Can’t remember even where they are. His hand slides into Mark’s hair, and balls up there. It must be a bit painful, but Mark makes this hot deep rumbly sound in his throat like he’s into it. His hair’s soft as hell. 

There’s a thump from the other side of the house, a cabinet being shut, perhaps, and suddenly Mark’s pulling completely away. 

They’re both out of breath. Ethan leans heavily against the door, cheeks red and lips redder. Mark tries to catch his breath, hair mussed, eyes wide as saucers, staring into Ethan’s in disbelief. 

Ethan doesn’t know why, but his eyes flit down, finding Mark’s got a tint in his jeans. 

“T-This doesn’t mean—“ Ethan doesn’t finish the sentence, moving out of the way as Mark rushes out of the room and into the bathroom across the hall. The man’s just showered, but Ethan hears the water turn on shortly after. 

Shutting the door again, Ethan steps over to the guest bed and sits on the edge of it. Thoughts fly a mile a minute. He’s freaking out. He’s never had any thoughts about a guy. Not anything more than the usual regular dude thoughts like “man I wish I was that hot”. Everyone has those! He’s always been proud to say that he isn’t that douche straight guy that can’t admit a dude is attractive. He’s never thought he was bi or anything, but he can admit when a dude is sexy as hell. 

Touching his fingers to his swollen lips, Ethan shuts his eyes, dreading what this could mean for their future. 

-

As it turns out, pretending nothing happened isn’t too bad. Ethan was prepared for a ruined friendship or Ally murdering him in his sleep but he wakes up to a text from Mark casually asking if he’s free to go try out disc golfing for their next video. When he shows up, Mark greets him normally and asks if he wants the green or blue disc. 

It’s fine. Healthy. Totally for sure. 

-

It lasts for about a week. 

Their girlfriends go out to a movie together, setting them up at Ethan’s place to “brainstorm video ideas or whatever” while they’re out. 

They sit as far away from each other on the couch as possible while they watch random cooking shows. Chopped, probably. Ethan can’t focus. It’s their first time alone like actually alone since it happened. 

The silence is suffocating. Ethan wonders if Mark’s even breathing. He glances over at the clock on the wall casually so he can check in his peripherals. 

Mark’s staring right at him. 

Heat rising up the back of his neck, Ethan looks back at the tv, trying desperately to focus on the food. 

It doesn’t work. He can feel mark’s eyes boring into him. Is this some weird challenge or something? Ethan feels like he might start to sweat, so he exhales sharply and looks right back at him. 

“What?!” He exclaims. Mark’s jaw clenches. He looks angry for some reason. 

“Why are you staring at me?!” Ethan asks exasperatedly. 

“Fuck you.” Mark says simply. His voice is mad deep. Ethan looks away, hiding his face. He might cry. He might definitely cry. 

“Fuck, I’m sorry, okay?” Ethan murmurs, voice breaking. He wishes he never suggested truth or dare. They should’ve done their shitty ideas. The fans still love their boring videos. They don’t notice the difference. None of this would’ve happened and their friendship wouldn’t be ruined and Mark wouldn’t hate him and—

Mark’s suddenly there, pulling at him. Ethan sniffles and lets himself be lead. Mark situates them so Ethan’s straddling the man’s lap, hands on his chest. 

Their foreheads gently press together. Mark’s hands rest hotly on Ethan’s thighs. The boy exhales shakily. 

“Fuck you for making me want this so bad. I can’t...resist. I need you to stop being so..you. Don’t let me do this.” Mark whispers, hands sliding up from his thighs to the boy’s hips. He sounds pained, like it actually hurts. Ethan can relate. 

“Don’t let you what?” Ethan asks dazedly, brain lagging a bit being this close. Mark tilts his chin up. Just a few millimetres and they’d be kissing. 

“T-Touch you. Anywhere. I’ve never felt so...so...I can’t control my thoughts anymore. Anytime you’re in the room I can’t stop thinking about—“ Mark interrupts himself by pressing their lips together. Ethan feels like he’s on fire after hearing those words. He might actually catch flame. 

He hums against Mark’s lips and kisses back enthusiastically. The kiss is just immediately dirty. It escalates far quicker than the last one. Ethan’s nails dig into Mark’s shoulder and that’s all it takes. Suddenly his shirt’s gone and Mark’s hands hesitate at Ethan’s pant button. 

“Okay? This okay?” Mark gasps. 

“Yeah yeah yeah.” Ethan replies, feeling drunk almost. Mark pops the button of his jeans but doesn’t take them off him. He just reaches right in, hand circling around his cock. 

Ethan hisses, hand fisting Mark’s hair, the other trying it’s best to return the favour, but he’s so excited that he just fumbles uselessly with Mark’s belt. 

The man uses his free hand to help him, freeing himself easily. Ethan’s never jerked off another dude, but he just copies what he would do to himself. It seems to work. Mark’s eyes flutter, mouth parting. 

“Good? I’ve never..oh fuck.” Ethan breaks off into a quiet moan as Mark squeezes him. He feels like a teenager again. He feels way too turned on, like he might burst at any second. 

“S’good.” Mark slurs, then lazily kisses him as their hands work. They mostly just breath into each other’s mouths. Ethan feels very close very fast. He tries to keep up his job, but his hand slows, his other tightens in Mark’s hair. 

“Fuck, baby.” Mark groans in reaction. That’s all it takes. Ethan comes with a gasp, face dropping to Mark’s shoulder. Once the white dots clear from his vision, Ethan starts his hand back up to finish the job. Mark’s head falls back against the back of the couch. Ethan uses that to his advantage, pressing his lips to Mark’s neck. The man seems to have a bit of a pain thing, so he lets his teeth dig in a bit. He immediately feels Mark twitch in his hand. 

Ethan lifts away, speeding up his movements. Mark’s eyebrows are furrowed together, mouth parted, sweat starting to bead at his hairline. The shitty tv light casts shadows over his face, his jawline prominent. 

“Fuck, you’re so hot, oh my god.” Ethan rambles stupidly. Mark leans forward and kisses him as he comes. 

They sit there, slumped, for about five minutes, catching their breaths. 

“I’m not gay.” Mark suddenly says. Ethan thinks he should probably lift away, but Mark’s got hold of him. 

“I know.” He replies. Mark looks torn. Their fingers tangle sweetly. 

“I love Ally.” Mark continues. 

“I know.” Ethan repeats. 

“We can’t do this again. I’m not a cheater.” Mark murmurs, face breaking. 

“I know.” Ethan speaks at the same quiet volume, voice cracking. 

Mark starts to cry. Ethan just holds him, knowing exactly how he’s feeling right now because he feels all of it too. Within a minute, he’s crying too, because he knows what this means and it breaks his heart. They clearly can’t control themselves when they are just alone in a room. 

Solution: stop being around each other. Ever. 

-

They limit it to only recording days. If anyone asks why they aren’t hanging out every damn day of the week, they just say they got in a personal fight. They say it won’t affect the channel. 

It does. They thought they were playing it off great, but the fans notice. They always notice. They analyse all the videos. 

They make theories. They start to say maybe one of them slept with the other’s girlfriend. They say maybe one of them was taking the channel money for themselves. The theories are wild. Funny enough, the few fans who suggested nearly exactly the truth got immediately shot down by everyone else and called a crazy shipper. It’s kinda sad. Ethan shouldn’t read the theories. But, once he read one he couldn’t stop. 

They try to fix it. They act up their roles more. They joke more. They even change to flirting. Over flirting. The fans notice they’re trying too hard. How they feel the tension, Ethan has no idea. 

Though there’s that tension, the video’s don’t really lose quality. As soon as the cameras are rolling they can easily fall back into Markiplier and CrankGamePlays without much effort. 

Once the cameras are off, they avoid each other at all costs. It’s weird but it works. Works for what they’re trying to accomplish, anyway. Doesn’t really work for their mental state. It’s extremely painful in that sense. Ethan considers mark his best friend. To not have that anymore except on camera, well, he kinda wants to just die a little. 

-

They’re recording a particularly touchy video today. Not sad touchy. Physical touchy. Usually they just keep up the mark saying “don’t touch me” bit but this one’s a bit different. 

Because of their “fight”, Ally’s really been stepping up to the plate with ideas. She’s been trying her hardest to keep everything running, including asking if they’ve made up every single time. 

She had the idea for them to do the handcuffed together for 24 hours challenge. Neither of them wanted to seem suspicious by declining the idea. 

Ethans stomach turns as the handcuffs click into place. It’s early-ish, enough that he’s a bit too tired to stop his face from making a regretful expression. 

“Don’t tell me you need to take a shit.” Mark says. Ethan doesn’t need to look to know the cameras must be on them. He looks to Mark, devastatingly close, and raises his eyebrows like that was definitely the reason for his reaction. 

It’s not too bad at first. They do a funny ‘making breakfast’ segment and they work well together for sure, taking turns and working around each other with ease. Of course, they’re a bit clumsy but it’s definitely fine for the video. Next, they go back to the famous exercise bike room with the “fixed” hole and try their luck at a bit of fitness. It’s good. The fans will love it. 

Then, there’s the downtime when they’ve got enough footage for the start of the day and have to wait for lunch. They all just sit down to watch a movie to kill some time, and they refuse to let them take off the handcuffs. That’d be cheating, of course. 

The handcuffs are annoyingly uncomfortable once they’re sat together on the couch. They have to sit close enough that their hands can rest on their own legs, but it just digs into their wrists so every half minute one of them readjusts their hands. 

Evan grabs everyone throw blankets since it’s cold in the house, and hands Mark and Ethan just one bigger one to share, so they do. Their hands rest under the blanket. 

Not even fifteen minutes into the movie, Ethan crosses his legs on the cushion to be more comfortable. His knee is then resting ever so lightly against Mark’s leg. He doesn’t correct it, and within a minute, the handcuffs clink as Mark’s hand slides from his own thigh to Ethan’s knee, then grazes slowly up his thigh. 

Ethan gulps and tries not to move, hyperaware of Ally just a few feet away, her eyes trained on the probably interesting movie. 

Mark’s hand gets tantalisingly high on his thigh, then stops and squeezes just a bit. Ethan exhales slowly and stops him with his connected hand. Mark then surprises him, twisting his hand to tangle with his. 

Then they’re just casually holding their handcuffs hands together under the blanket in Ethan’s lap. 

Mark takes a deep breath next to him, and his thumb starts to comfort him with soft pets. If Ethan wasn’t feeling all the emotions that exist right now it would probably feel like he’s just watching a movie with the person he’s dating. 

The thought sends a chill up his spine. He tears his hand away and abruptly stands up. 

“Unlock the cuffs. I-I gotta shit. I can’t hold it.” He says too loud for the rather quieter movie. 

“Nah, gotta go together.” Ally says, clearly trying to hold back laughter. 

Ethan shakes his head vigorously. 

“I won’t record it, don’t worry. You aren’t a cheater, are you?” She asks with a raised eyebrow. The question could easily be heard two ways. Ethan’s stomach twists and he yanks Mark with him to the toilet. 

Once the door is closed and locked, he leans his forehead against the cool wall, trying not to cry. He _is_ a cheater. Not in the way she was asking, of course, but now he can’t stop thinking it. 

“I-I’m sorry.” Mark murmurs, handcuffs jingling as he goes to hold his wrist. 

Ethan pulls his hand away, and they both say “ow” as it pulls uncomfortably on both of their wrists. He covers his face with his free hand and groans in frustration. 

When he looks at the guy, he just finds warm worried eyes and knitted eyebrows. Ethan slaps his chest weakly. 

“Stop looking at me like that.” He orders quietly. Mark tries to fix his expression but his eyes don’t change. He’s annoyingly expressive even when he doesn’t want to be. 

Ethan pushes at him until Mark’s back hits the wall. It might hurt but Mark doesn’t look like he minds. He pulls Ethan with him, cuffed hand taking his wrist again. The other, pulling him by his waist. His eyes, dark now. 

Ethan leans in a bit, watching Mark’s eyes flutter closed like he’s not going to deny a kiss. 

Ethan covers the man’s mouth with his free fingers, trying to keep his breathing in check. Why does it always escalate so quickly? How do they always end up here? 

Mark’s free hand sneaks under his shirt and grazes over his back, then down to his waistband. 

“Stop fucking seducing me.” Ethan says angrily, then pinches Mark’s nipple with his free hand just hard enough so he’ll stop. 

The opposite reaction happens. Mark gasps, head leaning back and hitting the wall, hand tightening on Ethan’s wrist. 

Ethan’s eyes widen, fingers still there. Mark doesn’t open his eyes, head still leaned against the wall, cheeks quickly tinting to a deep red. 

“Oh.” Ethan whispers, then his hand snakes under Mark’s shirt before he can remember not to. Mark’s nipple is hard, probably red. Ethan plays with the bud then gives it another experimental squeeze. The reaction is beautiful. 

Mark’s putty in his hands, mouth opening as he makes a sound deep in his throat. 

Ethan’s fingers make their way to his other nipple, to make it even of course. Ethan listens carefully to what sounds like a loud shooting scene in the movie down the hall. He pinches hard. Mark moans and his hand on Ethan’s back scratches him a bit desperately. 

It’s different. Mark’s always been dominant in most things he does. He’s a leader, and very proud of that. But here, right now, he’s letting go. He’d probably do anything Ethan asked right now. 

“Sensitive?” Ethan teases, expecting Mark to take control again. Deny it, maybe. He doesn’t. He nods quickly, eyes finally opening to look at him. His eyes are dark as hell, lidded. Ethan doesn’t need to check and see if Mark’s hard in his pants. His face says it all. 

“Not a masochist, huh?” Ethan asks, finger petting at the bud of his nipple, not giving him any pain, just teasing him. 

“Fuck, p-please.” Mark unexpectedly begs, not denying the accusation in the slightest, then juts his hips out so Ethan can feel the guy’s hard on on his leg, as if he didn’t know what Mark wants. 

Ethan brings their joined hands down between them. 

“Do it yourself.” He says, heart racing with the power he has right now, and Mark’s got a hand palming himself over his sweats the moment the words leave Ethan’s mouth. 

Ethan waits just twenty seconds, then he twists Mark’s nipple painfully harder than anytime before. Mark shakes almost violently, sliding just a bit down the wall as his knees buckle, releasing into his pants immediately. He makes these hot deep noises, and Ethan watches the beauty of it all. He’s never been turned on by anything more than this. 

Ethan waits, wondering what will happen now. Will Mark be angry? Will he take the control back? 

Mark’s only just ridden it out, breathing still heavy, and his fingers fumble at Ethan’s belt buckle. 

“You now, y-you—“

“No. Clean yourself up.” Ethan says, reaching blindly for a roll of toilet tissue. Mark does as he’s told, cheeks red, hands shaking. 

Once he’s clean, his eyes stay very focused on the floor, breathing eventually evening out to normal, and his shaking slows, then stops. Ethan waits patiently, not touching him besides Mark’s hand still clinging onto his wrist. 

“I don’t know what that was.” Mark eventually whispers, looking up but not at him, at his chest or his chin, maybe. 

“You like pain. It’s a surprisingly common kink.” Ethan replies. Mark’s jaw clenches and his eyebrows furrow like he’s offended. 

“Yeah well if I’m a masochist that would make you a sadist.” He says, clearly trying to offend him back. Ethan raises an eyebrow and grins. 

“Yeah? You really wanna make sure?” Ethan places a hand on Mark’s chest, over his worn nipples. The meaning is clear. Mark’s angry expression quickly drops. 

“No...I wanna kiss you.” He decides, free hand finding its way to cup Ethan’s cheek. Just a handful of inches and Ethan could easily make that a reality. 

Helping Mark shoot off into his pants is one thing, but kissing is just...personal. Romantic. It feels like weirdly too far despite what’s just happened. How long have they been in here again?

“Do you feel guilty? Asking me to kiss you while your girlfriend sits down the hall?” Ethan has to make it sting so he won’t kiss him. Has to make Mark the one to decide they shouldn’t. 

“Yes.” Mark simply answers, but he doesn’t push him away, thumb swiping over his cheek, eyes begging silently.

Ethan uses all his strength to pull away. He leaves the toilet and pulls Mark abruptly back to the living room, where he takes the handcuff key from the end table and separates them. 

“Wait! We don’t have enough footage! Don’t give up!” Ally and Evan both try to stop him, but Ethan shoves his handcuff and the key in Mark’s hand and leaves without looking anyone in the eye. 

-

Once he’s back at his own place, Ethan undresses quickly and hops in a hot shower, and finally wraps a hand around himself. He holds onto the shower wall for support as he jerks off, trying desperately not to, but remembering vividly the way Mark looked when he orgasmed. The way his mouth slacked. The way he moaned as he shook against the wall. The way he gave up himself for Ethan. Willingly letting him inflict the good kind of pain. 

Ethan gasps against the shower wall, eyes squeezing closed as he comes. He stands against the wall for a long time, until he’s dizzy from the hot water. Then, he quickly cleans himself and finishes his shower. 

Once dressed, he climbs into bed even though it’s only midday, and checks his phone. 

Ally’s texted. 

‘ _Hey. I know you’re fighting, I shouldn’t have suggested the challenge. I hope I didn’t cause a fight. I’m sorry. Love you._ ’

Ethan can’t stop himself now. He starts to abruptly cry, vision blurring as he shakily texts a reply. 

_‘You’re doing everything right. I’m the one who’s sorry. I’ll wash my clothes and we can try again tomorrow. Love you._ ’

He shuts his phone completely off and hugs a pillow to his chest. He falls asleep crying, pillow soaked with his tears as he feels nothing but guilt.

-

The next few days are really bad. Ethan cries a good bit. They finish the recording for the video, and Mark and Ethan are both very careful about not being alone together. Mark just does the recording and doesn’t try anything new. It’s fine. They’re fine. 

Ethan tries to tell himself that, even as he falls asleep next to Michele with nothing but the want for it to be Mark. It fills him to the core. He can’t even cry anymore. There’s nothing left in him. Mark didn’t even look at him today. 

-

Ethan wakes up the next day feeling better. A lot better. Maybe even good enough to head to the gym. 

He’s only just slipped on his shoes when there’s keys jingling at the front door and Ally steps in. She’s got no makeup on and her hair is just slipped up into a bun. She looks like she just woke up. When she sees him, she shuts the door and hugs him. Ethan hugs her back, eyebrows furrowing in confusion. 

“What’s wrong? Are you okay? Is Mark okay? Are the dogs okay?” He asks frantically, worried someone’s died. 

“I’m fine. It’s Mark. He hasn’t gotten out of bed today.” She pulls back, eyes glossy but not crying. She just looks worried. Ethan’s stomach twists. 

“He’s sleeping?” He asks hopefully. 

“No. Was awake when I woke up at 6. He’s not responding to anything. He’s just laying there looking into nothing. Please, Ethan. I think it’s your fight. You have no idea what it’s done to him.” 

“What do you mean?” Ethan quickly works on making her tea, having her sit at his table. 

“Ever since you started fighting he’s been more closed off. Quiet. He’s quiet at home anyway but it’s like he’s just on autopilot. I’ll ask him something and he doesn’t hear me at first, lost in his head. He cries during the night most nights. He tries to be quiet so I don’t hear him but I do. I don’t know what went on between you two but it’s killing both of you. It’s scaring me to death. I need you to go fix it. Right now.” By the end of it, she looks angry. She steps up and takes the tea bag from him, grabbing his keys and pressing him towards the door. 

Ethan’s never been one to disobey an angry woman. He can’t help but let her shove him around. 

“I-I just—“

“No,” she interrupts, literally kicking him out of his own place, “I don’t want to see you here again until you’ve made up. You’ll thank me for this later. I’ll watch Spencer.” 

Ethan stares at the now slammed door with wide eyes. Well fuck. 

-

Standing at Mark’s door, Ethan bounces on his toes, trying to hype himself up to go inside. He already spent thirty minutes making himself get out of the car. 

Using his key, he steps in. The house is still and quiet. Like it is when nobody’s been home. Ethan locks the door and slips off his shoes. Stepping through the house, he looks to the couch, the table, and the bathroom hopefully, hoping he may have gotten up. He hasn’t. 

Stepping into the doorway of mark’s bedroom, it’s dark. It’s nearly noon, but his curtains are pulled nearly closed, only letting in minimal light. Mark’s a lump on the bed, facing away from the door. He’s not making any noise apart from the quietest breaths. 

Ethan exhales shakily and steps up to the bed, pulling the duvet back and climbing in. Then he just does it. Presses himself up against Mark’s back, circling his arm around his waist, legs tangling with his, nose only pressing to the back of his neck with their slight height difference. 

Mark seemed to have been holding his breath, body tensed up. His exhale is staggered as he relaxes finally. Ethan doesn’t say anything. Just spoons him, holding him tightly and trying to match his breathing. 

“I can’t..” Mark whispers, but then he’s turning so they’re facing each other, legs still tangled. Ethan looks at him, heart skipping as he pets his cheek, his neck, then his chest over his heart. Mark’s got his hand on Ethan’s waist, gripping his shirt tightly into a fist. 

“It’s okay. I can’t either.” Ethan murmurs, then starts to run gentle fingers through his hair, scratching softly at his scalp. Mark’s eyes flutter, glossy like he might cry. 

After about twenty minutes, they’re just laying together silently. Eventually, Mark’s fist relaxes and he just holds him. 

“It’s not just the sex for me. I didn’t realise until last night after the recording. When Amy and I were just sitting together watching a movie. She just lied her head on my shoulder and I wished she was you.” Mark looks ashamed at his words, guilty. 

Ethan’s heart pounds at the man’s confession. 

“I’ve been having the same shit. This kinda thing just..happens sometimes. We can’t help who we have feelings for. Now, we just decide are we going to tell the girls? Or are we going to deal with it, as friends, and hope it goes away eventually?” 

Mark’s face breaks at his words. He shakes his head. 

“I don’t want to choose. I want you.” He says. It’s fucking heartbreaking. Ethan just wants to let him, god he wants it so bad, but he can’t. 

“You love Ally. Want can’t even touch love. You don’t love me.” 

Mark pulls him closer. 

“We stay friends? We hang out again? Go back to how it was at least? No more ignoring each other?” The man asks hopefully. Ethan nods. 

“Yeah. Just friends.” 

After a few minutes, Mark nods in agreement, then places a hand on his cheek. 

“One last..” he trails off, a tear falling from his eye. Ethan leans in and kisses him. It’s salty from their tears. Mark rolls over, pulling him along so Ethan’s on top of him. They kiss for quite a while. It’s passionate, but not dirty. Longing. Sad, really. Neither want to pull away, knowing it’s the last. 

Finally, Ethan places a hand on Mark’s chin, separating their lips. He stays right there as they catch their breaths, soaking in the moment. Burning it to his memory so he doesn’t forget. 

“You’re wrong. I may not be in love with you, but it’s been less than a month and I..want you this bad. I could easily, given the chance...” Mark trails off, eyes wet, then flips them again so he’s on top, hair falling into his eyes, veins protruding down the arm he’s holding himself up with. Ethan tries his best to breath normally. 

“Don’t say stuff like that, fuck.” The boy complains. Mark smiles sadly and leans in again, eyes dark. 

Ethan stops him with a finger to his lips. 

“That was the last one, remember?” 

Mark frowns, then leans further down and presses a gentle kiss to Ethan’s jawline, his neck, his collarbone. Ethan’s seduced for a few minutes, but eventually remembers where he is and shoves Mark off of him. 

Mark flops over and is only wide eyed for a moment, before he raises an challenging eyebrow. Ethan doesn’t have time to react before Mark’s wrestling onto him. He fights back, but he’s never been the wrestler type. 

Ethan reaches out desperately and finds a pillow, which he shoves into Mark’s face. The man laughs, the greatest sound in the world, and suddenly reaches over the bed and pulls back up the paintball gun, of all things. Ethan shields himself with a pillow. 

“Truce! Truce! You already did it! At least don’t do it off camera, shit!” Ethan cries. Mark grins and tosses the gun back down, then crawls over to him, flopping down and resetting the duvet and pillows for them to lie on, tangled everywhere in their wrestle. 

They curl up under the duvet and cuddle together, Mark on his back, Ethan’s head on his chest. 

“Didn’t sleep last night.” Mark murmurs once their goofiness wears off. 

“Sleep then.” Ethan replies, fingers grazing over the man’s stomach, reaching under his shirt to feel his surgery scar. Mark’s got goosebumps in the wake of his fingertips. 

“Don’t want you to leave.” Mark slurs, on the edge of sleep but gripping Ethan’s shirt tightly like he’ll just disappear. 

“I’ll be here when you wake up.” Ethan promises. 

Mark doesn’t reply, but within about two minutes, his breathing evens out, hand relaxing on Ethan’s back. Ethan just basks in this, knowing he won’t have it again. Tangling their legs, he memorises this feeling. Mark’s skin under his fingers. His smell. The heat waving off of him. 

He’s so relaxed, his eyes slipped closed without his permission, and he’s asleep not too long after. 

-

Ethan’s woken up by someone taking his hand. His eyes flutter open to find Ally crouched next to the bed at his eye level. She looks tired, but she’s smiling. 

“You made up?” She whispers hopefully. Ethan lifts his head to sit up, but finds Mark’s arm slung over him. He’s deep asleep, face squished against the pillow. Ethan’s heart aches a bit just looking at him. 

“Yeah,” he whispers, lying back down so he doesn’t wake the man, “I’m sorry. I never wanted it to affect you. I didn’t know he was so...depresso.” 

His futile attempt at cheering them both up works. She giggles, covering her mouth when Mark stirs. They both look over to him. He mumbles incoherently and his arm tightens, easily pulling Ethan closer like he weighs nothing, then relaxes again. 

Ethan looks over to Ally, slightly panicked. Is this suspicious? They don’t just have bro cuddle sessions casually. He feels a pang of guilt having to wonder that. He loves Ally. She’s one of his very closest friends. It’s a big reason why he won’t let himself keep Mark. 

She’s grinning. She leans down and presses a kiss to Ethan’s forehead. 

“Thank you. I hope you’ll be better too. I miss you around here. It’s two-ish so don’t let him sleep much longer or he’ll be late for his stream. I’ll be binging god knows what random one season only show in the living room.” 

“Can I join?” Ethan pouts. Ally stands, smirking. 

“Sure, but good luck getting out of that hold without waking him. I thought about taking a picture and getting all of the crankiplier likes but I didn’t, so you owe me one, by the way.” She leaves the room giggling, closing the door with a quiet click. 

Ethan sighs and looks down at Mark’s arm over him. He reaches down and tangles their fingers together. His hands are soft. He likes the way they look together. It feels nice. Natural. 

Mark’s hand tightens in his. Ally could easily come back in, but Ethan feels risky. He takes his hand away, holding Mark’s wrist instead, then he turns so they’re facing each other. 

Mark watches him, eyes blinking slowly, still waking up. The sun is lower in the sky now, causing rays to shine through the small gap in the curtains, giving Mark a glow around his head. He looks like an angel. Ethan feels his heartbeat, steady, through his wrist. 

He leans forward like he’s going to kiss him, watching Mark’s eyes slip closed, mouth parting just slightly. He gives him the smallest of kisses. Not really even a kiss. He pulls back as he feels Mark’s pulse skyrocket, beating out of rhythm like crazy. Interesting. 

“Thought the other one was the last.” Mark says. A chill goes down Ethan’s spine. His voice is somehow deeper when he’s just woken up. Holy shit. 

“Sorry. No more. Just friends.” Ethan replies. Mark raises an eyebrow and pulls his arm so Ethan’s hand on his wrist falls away. 

“Testing how my heart reacts to you kissing me isn’t very platonic.” He says. Ethan pretends his cheeks don’t heat up. 

“No idea what you’re talking—“ Ethan’s words fall away when Mark suddenly rolls over on top of him and holds him down against the bed by his wrists. Ethan’s eyes widen, heat bubbling in his stomach. 

Mark leans in but doesn’t give him a kiss, just brushes their noses together. Ethan feels his heart race, and his ears pink as he knows Mark’s hands on his wrists can feel it too. 

“You should feel yours right now. This just friends thing is definitely gonna be hard.” Then he lifts away off of the bed with a grin and heads over to the joined bathroom. 

Ethan groans and covers his face with a pillow. Great. 

-

It’s Halloween. 

Ethan doesn’t know how to make it through this. He just has to be in the same room as Mark to get his stomach flipping nervously. It reminds him of the nervousness he felt when he first met him. Only this time he wants to touch him all over instead of just get a photo together. 

Like he can hear his thoughts, Mark looks up from his phone. Their eyes meet across the living room. Mark grins, eyes all sparkly and shit. It’s annoying. 

Ethan plays with the ears of his stupid pikachu outfit that he bought last minute when he remembered they were dressing up for recording. 

Mark, on the other hand, is dressed as deadpool and it’s devastatingly fitted in all the right places. 

They record skits, adding new Ryan Reynolds jokes since they’re deadpool and pikachu. It’s hard, but sort of easier at the same time. Just friends. It’s like acting. Ethan thinks maybe he could do this. 

After recording, they sit down for a spoopy movie session, then they eventually just end up doing their own things in comfortable silence. Ally puts on some soft music. She and Ethan play a game of chess, and Mark reads a book on the couch. It’s nice. Like it used to be.

He can do this. Easy. Friends is good. Friends is nice. He totally doesn’t try to win the game to show off. That’s not a just friends thing. Nope. 

-

Once Ally heads to bed, it’s just them. A classical piano song plays from the tv speakers. It’s Debussy. Clair De Lune. It’s pretty. Romantic. 

Ethan keeps his eyes trained on his phone, scrolling through Reddit. 

Only a minute passes before he hears Mark close his book and stand up, then Ethan’s phone is being taken out of his hand. 

He looks up to Mark, who’s standing with a grin, hand stretched out like he’s gonna help him up. 

Ethan’s confused but also does everything without much thought, so he places his hand in Mark’s and then he’s standing. What he didn’t expect, was for Mark to keep their hands held, his other coming to rest on Ethan’s waist like they’re going to dance. 

“I-I don’t know how—“

“Just go with it.” Mark quiets him and then they’re swaying back and forth. Ethan chuckles and tries his best not to step on Mark’s toes and to follow his lead. 

They start off actually attempting to dance, teaching each other a simple step around and even doing a funny twirl, laughing all the while then judging each other as they get too loud. Eventually, they slow a bit. Ethan’s a tad awkward this close. Mark’s just staring at him, all warm and shit. 

Ethan just focuses on not letting his hand in Mark’s sweat, and lets the other play with the hair touching Mark’s neckline. 

“Want so much.” Mark murmurs. The song changes to a more upbeat classical song, but they keep their slow swaying, the world kind of disappearing around them. 

Ethan meets his eyes, butterflies fluttering in his stomach when he sees his face. How much need rests in his eyes. 

Suddenly, Mark takes his hand away, places it on the back of his neck, and dips him. Ethan gasps in surprise, free hand clutching at Mark’s shirt as if the guy isn’t easily supporting his weight. 

Their lips are separated by a few measly millimetres. A bee’s dick length away from—

One of them get a text, the notification noise loud over the quiet music. Mark frowns and lifts him back up and grabs the phone. It’s Ethan’s. 

Mark hands him the phone, pitching his nose and looking like he just got slapped back into reality. 

“I should go. Sleep. At my place.” Ethan eventually gets it out, but he doesn’t move, heart still pounding. 

Mark shuts off the tv and slips his own phone in his pocket, then steps up to him and straightens his hoodie out where it got mussed. Then he leans in and presses a small kiss to his cheek. 

“Goodnight.” He whispers while he’s there, then pulls away and leaves the room, shaking his arms out like he’s calming his brain. 

Ethan finds himself touching the spot where Mark’s lips just were, eyes slipping closed, feeling like a school girl with her first crush. 

“Goodnight.” He whispers, long after Mark’s left. 

—

A few days before Christmas, they all get together for dinner. After eating, everyone’s gathered around the room for secret Santa. 

Ethan’s feeling especially down today. Enough that he doesn’t even want to look at Mark. Some days he can, and can even joke around with him and hug him. Then there’s days like today where hearing his voice across the room stings his heart like nothing else. Maybe it’s just Christmas. Everyone’s a little more joyful and romantic, leaving Ethan to watch on wishing for it himself. 

They exchange gifts, and Ethan opens a new expensive headset. He guesses it’s from Cathryn (correctly, by the way). He opens it up and fiddles with them as the rest open their presents. He tries not to watch too much, avoiding everyone’s eyes, not wanting anyone to notice he’s actually just avoiding Mark. He may be overthinking it a bit. 

“Oh my god! This is amazing. Well, there’s only one person who hasn’t been named.” Mark’s voice is excited enough that Ethan’s looked up before he can control himself. 

“I’d hoped you’d like it. Ally told me yours broke.” Michele’s gotten Mark a new guitar. It’s a beauty for sure. Ethan now remembers her telling him about it. He feels guilty for not really paying attention. 

“Play something!” Ally claps. Mark looks hesitant but then everyone’s asking him to play. 

“Alright alright. I was learning one before mine broke. I might still have it.” He situates the guitar on his lap and turns a bit towards Ally, giving her a grin, ready to serenade her. 

He starts to play, then unexpectedly starts to sing. It’s sounds familiar but Ethan can’t place the title. It’s a love song. Sweet. Emotional. His voice sends chills down Ethan’s spine. He clutches his new headphones tightly. 

Mark starts off singing to Ally with a goofy smile, but eventually he’s looking down at his guitar with a torn expression. His voice is deep, raspy. It sounds so good. He could easily properly get into music if he wanted to. Though his voice shakes just a bit, still having performance nervousness, he sounds amazing. 

“Baby, I’m dancing in the dark, with you between my arms, barefoot on the grass, listening to our favourite song.” Mark’s eyes flicker up to his for just a second, his eyes warm, then they look down to somewhere between them. 

“When you said you looked a mess, I whispered underneath my breath, but you heard it, darling,” Mark’s eyes drift up, not looking directly at Ethan but not looking away from him, “you look perfect tonight.” 

He stops the song, incomplete. Everyone claps and Ally gives him a kiss. 

“If you ever sing to me like that I’d marry you on the spot.” Michele murmurs to him jokingly, but suddenly stops, eyebrows furrowing. 

“Hey you okay?” She asks. Ethan blinks and looks over at her. 

“What? Yeah, why?” 

“You’re crying.” She whispers, and Ethan startles, wiping his face in confusion. 

“S-sorry. I’ll be right back.” He stands up and rushes to the toilet before anyone else can notice. 

Once there, he washes his face and tries to calm down. God, he’s going mad. He tries to get Mark’s expression out of his head but can’t. The way he was singing like that. Like he meant what he was speaking. 

Ethan knows why he’s emotional, but he refuses to accept it, refuses to let the words be said even in his own head. Its been almost three months since they decided to just be friends. 

The door abruptly opens and in steps the last person he wanted to. 

“Tell me what’s wrong.” Mark says, taking his hand, the other brushing his hair from his face. Ethan exhales shakily and looks up at the man. 

_I love you_ “I’m fine.” He clenches his jaw tightly to try and make his brain chill for even a second. 

“People who are fine don’t run off crying. I-It’s not me is it?” 

“Cocky.” Ethan scoffs _. I love you, Mark_

Mark just maintains his sympathetic expression, hand annoyingly comforting in his. 

“Of course it’s you, asshole. You’re making it extremely hard to get over you.” Ethan rubs his eyes, stepping away so they aren’t touching. 

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to sing to you. I don’t think anyone noticed. I just...heat of the moment.” 

Ethan sighs and crosses his arms. Mark’s all twitchy like he can’t stand not touching him. 

  
_I’m in love with you_

Ethan steps forward and lets Mark hug him. It’s nice, anyway. He breaths him in to remember later when he’s in bed thinking about him. 

“I’m gonna go.” Ethan murmurs, but doesn’t pull away. Instead, his arms unfold and cling onto him like a lifeline. He wants to stay here forever. Being in Mark’s arms, he’s convinced everything else will fall away. Everything will work out. 

Mark holds him just as tight, lips pressing to his temple. 

“Just one.” He whispers. Ethan forced himself to back away from the want and warmth, stepping away. 

“Stop tempting me, my morals are weak when you touch me.” Ethan holds his pointer finger against Mark’s chest, stopping himself more than the other man. 

His finger gives way to his hand, held against Mark’s chest, he can feel the pounding heartbeat underneath. 

Their eyes meet, and that’s it. Mark’s scooped him up and sat him on the sink counter before he can even say anything more. 

He crowds in close between his legs, hand cradling his cheek, the other against the mirror behind them. 

“Please, baby. Just one. It’s been so long.” Mark begs, so close his eyes are blurry. Their lips nearly brush together. Heat boils in Ethan’s stomach. His nails dig into Mark’s chest, causing him to make a hot rumbly noise deep in his throat. 

“Fuck, don’t call me that.” Ethan whines, planning to push him away but instead his legs wrap around him and pull him closer. 

“I think about kissing you all day. Every fucking time I see you. I can’t even look at you without wanting to press you up against the wall and—“

A knock at the door. They both hold their breath, reality crashing back quickly. 

“Ethan, you okay?” It’s Michele. Mark huffs in annoyance and steps away, rubbing his hand down his face like he’s calming down. Ethan clutches the edge of the counter and tries to catch his breath. 

Mark opens the door enough to stick his head out. 

“It’s his family. He’s missing them and wishes he was flying home today rather than tomorrow. I’ve got him. We’ll be out in a minute.” Mark tells her. Ethan slides off of the counter and exhales shakily, suddenly thankful for Mark’s quick bullshitting skills. 

Mark closes the door and turns back to him. 

“I need to go.” Ethan says, chewing on his lip and pretending Mark isn’t watching him do it. He steps past the man and stops with a hand on the door handle when Mark places his hand on his back. 

“Staying just friends is the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do. Emotional pain number ten. It’s right up there with grief. I feel like I lose you every time you walk out that door.” He references the video they did a while back where they ranked their pain. 

Ethan hates that he feels the exact same. Wishes he didn’t. Wishes he didn’t love him. 

He doesn’t let himself turn around because he doesn’t think he’d be able to control himself now. If he turned and saw the sincerity in Mark’s eyes he might just confess his love and kiss his stupid face. Instead, he opens the door and leaves. It takes all of his willpower to do, and he’s mentally exhausted by the time he reaches the front door. 

-

Michele stops him the minute they get through the front door. Ethan blinks in surprise, sort of forgetting he was even alive really. 

“You know I have eyes, right?” She asks, looking angry. 

“Um, yeah?” Ethan finds it hard to focus. Is his heart even beating anymore? Has he died?

“You need to tell Ally you love him. Figuring it out for ourselves is the worst way.” She says. Ethan suddenly realises what she’s saying. 

“I-I’m sorry.” He just starts to cry again. Michele brings him to the couch and once he’s calm they talk about it. Ethan leaves out all the dirty details but tells her about the kissing. They make tea and talk for hours until they can’t cry anymore and they get all their emotions out. 

In the end, they pack Michele’s things together, and Ethan pays for her flight back home for the next day. They fall asleep mumbling about how they will stay friends and stay in touch, and Ethan feels just a little more mentally stable. He falls asleep with a heavy heart. 

-

It’s New Years Eve. 

Ethan steps into the loud house. The party’s already in full swing. He spots just as many familiar and unfamiliar faces around the room. He sets the bottle of champagne down with the rest of the alcohol and pours himself a cup from one of the open ones. 

It’s not hard to spot Mark. He’s surrounded by people in the further corner, talking animatedly about something. The people around him listen intently like he’s a god. Ethan can relate. 

The man’s wearing all black. A nice pair of shiny shoes, slacks, and a nice collared button down that has just enough buttons unbuttoned to give him a sleek but sexy look. Ethan hates him. He downs his drink and pours another. 

Glancing back up, he finds Mark looking right back at him. Through all the people and over the kitchen counter they stare at each other. Someone was talking to him, but Mark just leaves, pressing through the people to come over. 

Ethan chews on the inside of his lip. It’s been three months and he’s still nervous. He fidgets with the hem of his blazer as he watches Mark approach. 

The man steps up and casually reaches around him for the non-alcoholic bottle of sparkling grape juice. 

“Did you wear blue just to tease me?” Mark asks as he pours his drink, then subtly runs a hand down the dark blue blazer sleeve. 

“Why would that be teasing you, Mr. All Black like some hot CEO or something?” 

Mark grins and plays with the top button of his shirt like he might unbutton even more just to fuck with him. 

“Don’t wear blue around me. It makes your eyes bluer and it makes it harder not to want you.” 

Ethan smiles into his drink, pretending not to be pleased with himself. Of course he knows he looks good in blue. Everyone knows their colour. Or should, anyway. 

“I’ll wear all the blue I want. You can’t have me.” Ethan scans the room and finds Ally talking to Cathryn. She’s wearing a long sparkly black dress. She’s hot as hell. Mark doesn’t even look.

“It’s been three months, I think I deserve you by now.” Mark pouts, making it clear he’s joking, but Ethan frowns and sets down his drink. 

“Yeah. You’d think three months in we would have moved on by now.” 

Mark leans against the counter and sighs, finally looking over at Ally too. 

“Yeah I know. Ethan...I—“ 

“30 seconds everyone!” Someone shouts, and the large splitscreen across the room shows a counter with fireworks in the background. Everyone starts to count along. Mark looks at him. 

“Go kiss her.” Ethan says. Mark hesitates. Ethan can see Ally looking around. 

“Ethan, I want to—I want—“

“No. Twenty seconds, go.” Ethan pushes him along until Mark goes on his own over to Ally. 

Ethan watches, alone with his drink at the counter, as the clock strikes 12 and the couple share a kiss. 

His eyes sting and his heart aches, but he’s okay. 

-

It’s nearing two and the party’s still in full force. Ethan’s outside waiting for his Uber to arrive so he can head home. He drank almost three drinks so he’s tipsy but he’s not the partying type, really. Now right now. 

It’s chilly. His phone rings. It’s Mark.

“Hey.”

“Where are you?”

“Leaving. Tired, ya know?” 

“Okay but where exactly are you?” 

“Um, the front yard? Waiting for my ride.”

Mark hangs up. Ethan doesn’t have much time to wonder about it, because then he’s being pulled back towards the house, but around the side, not back to the party. Mark presses him against the cold brick of the house and crowds against him, trapping him there with hands against either side of Ethan against the wall. 

“I wanted to kiss you at midnight. All I want to do is kiss you every time you so much as breath in my direction. I can’t do this anymore. I can’t keep pretending. I can’t stay away from you.” Mark sound angry, almost.

Ethan shivers against the cool brick and pulls Mark in closer by his belt hoops, hoping to share some warmth. 

“You love Ally.” Ethan says for what feels like the hundredth time. 

“And I love you.” Mark exhales shakily after speaking like he’s nervous. It’s dark on the side of the house, so it’s just the faint glow of the streetlights and the moonlight to see, but the emotions in Mark’s eyes are crystal clear. 

“Don’t say that—“

“Stop. I’m not joking around. I fucking love you. You don’t make me fall for you then act all surprised when I tell you.” 

Ethan scoffs, crossing his arms. 

“I didn’t make you do shit!” 

“Yes you did. Every time you looked at me, or smiled, or brushed against me when we passed each other, or did that stupid funny baby voice you do when we’re doing a bit, or when you laugh at a video of turtles just sunbathing and send it to me at 4am,” Mark’s voice goes soft rather than angry. He leans in a bit closer, “or when you sing to yourself when you think nobody’s listening, then you go pink when you see someone was. Or how you hum sometimes when you sleep.” 

“That’s not making you fall for me. That’s just stuff I do all the time.” Ethan murmurs, heart pounding in his chest. 

“Exactly. I can’t control this. I can’t stop how I feel. It’s been three months and I’ve done the exactly opposite of get over you. I love you. I’m in love with you.” 

Ethan kisses him, finally. It’s been too long. He doesn’t have self control anymore. They’re feverish. Mark’s hands are warm when they slide under his shirt and over his back. Ethan shivers and places his hands on Mark’s belt, fingers slipping into his slacks but not going further. 

Mark pulls away and takes a deep breath. 

“Can I take you to my room?” He asks, then kisses down his neck like he’s convincing him. 

“Yeah, yeah.” Ethan replies, then Mark’s taking his hand and leading him back inside. Ethan straightens his shirt before they head in, but Mark doesn’t seem to care about his mussed hair or the hard on he’s sporting under his slacks. 

It’s only crossing the kitchen and living room to get to the hallway, but Mark gets held up by a probably popular drunk dude slurring about how great the party is and how they need to collab. He tells the guy that he’s busy and will have to talk to him later. As they talk, Ethan looks around and spots Ally a little bit away.

She looks up like she can sense his eyes on her and her face lights up into a smile, but the smile quickly fades as she looks them over. Their lips red, clothes lopsided, hands clasped. Ethan doesn’t think to fix his face, so he just looks guilty when she goes back to his face.

All Ethan sees is a look of betrayal before they’re moving again through the party. Mark never notices her, or anyone who could be watching. 

They get to his room and Mark’s got his hands on him as soon as the doors shut. 

“Mark, wait—“ Mark presses him down gently onto the bed and crawls over him, eyes dark. Ethan’s so turned on but he can’t get Ally’s face out of his mind now. 

“Been waiting forever already.” Mark whines, then starts giving him a lovebite on his neck. Then the man’s hand wanders down to Ethan’s crotch and starts to palm him there. Ethan’s caught up in the moment for a second, but forces himself out of it. 

“No, Mark, stop.” He says. Mark pulls away completely, standing up. His hands are in fists. 

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry. I should’ve asked first. You’re just so...” Mark shakes his head at himself. He must think Ethan didn’t want it. 

Ethan sits up and takes one of Mark’s fisted hands, finding he’s pressed his nails into his palm to calm himself down. Ethan pulls him over to sit next to him and tries to smooth out the little crescent moons. Mark sits, crossing his legs. 

“No, that’s not why I wanted to stop. I want this just as badly. It’s just..Ally saw us before we came in here. I think she knows.” 

Mark’s eyebrows furrow and he looks down at their hands, where Ethan’s gently rubbing at the nail mark’s in his palm. 

“What do we do?” He asks, eyes sad. 

“I don’t think we should go further until you tell Ally.” 

“Tell me what?” 

It’s like a scene from a movie. Ally’s standing halfway into the doorway, and going by her expression, she’s been there long enough to not have to be told anything. Ethan instinctively pulling his hands away from Mark’s as soon as they’re caught probably sealed her suspicion, anyway. Of course they didn’t lock the door. 

Ally looks beyond hurt but instead of leaving angrily like Ethan thought she would, she steps inside and closes the door, leaning against it. 

“Tell me how this happened. I want all of the details.” 

“Ally—“ Mark’s immediately cut off. 

“Shut the fuck up. I want to hear it from you, Ethan.” She looks at Ethan, arms crossed. 

He wants to ask why she wants him to talk, but he just guesses she’s too angry at Mark to look at him.

“W-well..it started out as an accident. We were brainstorming video ideas and I had the truth or dare video idea and we both got excited and when Mark went to kiss my cheek or something I turned to accept it on my lips. I don’t know why, heat of the moment I guess. Then we were weirded out and we decided—“

“I decided to test it. It was my fault.” Mark interrupts. Ethan exhales nervously and looks back towards Ally. 

“M-Mark decided we should test it out with a real kiss so we could move on and stop thinking we were gay. We kissed again and it was...yeah so then we decided to ignore each other and stop talking so we weren’t cheating anymore but..” Ethan tries to compose himself but he starts to cry a bit because Ally’s crying and it breaks his whole heart. Mark’s just staring at his lap, hair over his face. 

Ally looks at the ceiling and huffs. 

“Continue.” She demands, wiping her tears away angrily. 

“But we couldn’t control ourselves. I don’t know about Mark but I’ve never felt so—I never thought of him this way, I swear. Not until that first kiss. We stopped for good about three months ago. Until today we’d sworn not to do anything. For you. We didn’t want to hurt you.” Ethan stutters the whole way through, as he’s never been good at trying to talk while crying. 

“He’s sugarcoating it,” Mark suddenly speaks up, looking at Ethan though he’s talking to Ally, “he was always saying we should stop. He was the one reminding me that I love you so I wouldn’t fuck off and run away with him. I never tried to stop it. Don’t be mad at him because this is entirely on me. I basically seduced him.” 

“It wasn’t seduction. I fell in love with him without touching him for three months. It wasn’t about sex.” Ethan can see Mark react, hand twitching like he wants to touch him but doesn’t. Ethan hadn’t said it back before, so Mark didn’t know yet. 

“You had sex?” She asks, eyebrows raising into her hairline. 

“N-no, I mean, we didn’t..not all the way, no.” Ethan covers his face shamefully. He wanted her to not know about the whole Jerking-Each-Other-Off-On-The-Couch incident, but now it’s out there. 

She starts to pace a bit, taking deep breaths. 

“Okay. Now those weird mood swings and ‘not being in the sex mood’ thing makes a lot more sense.” She says bitterly, then stops in front of them. 

“Well..I’m going to go now. I don’t know if I want to see either of you ever again right now but I’ll let ya know.” She turns and leaves the room. Mark doesn’t move. Ethan jumps up and stops her in the hallway. 

“Wait, Ally, I’m sorry—“

She stops and laughs, but it’s a sad laugh. 

“Four years, Ethan. I’ve been with him for over four years and he’s not the one chasing me down the hall.” Her face breaks and she turns away, leaving. Ethan lets her go. 

He steps back into the room and shuts the door. Mark’s in the same cross legged position, fiddling with his thumbs. It’s quiet for a minute. 

“I don’t know why but I never thought about her finding out. About her leaving me. It’s stupid and selfish but I never thought I could only have one of you.” Mark murmurs. Ethan steps over to the bed and resumes his position in front of him. 

“And you wish it was her you had?” Ethan guesses. 

“No,” Mark says, reaching out and holding Ethan’s ankle, “I would rather have you. That’s why I feel so bad. I should’ve told her last night, when I realised I love you. I should’ve broken it off weeks and weeks ago when I was thinking about you when I was in bed with her.” 

Ethan doesn’t know what to say. Mark rubs his thumb over his ankle, comforting him. 

“You love me?” Mark asks sheepishly after a few minutes of silence. Ethan laughs, wiping his wet eyes. 

“Course I do.” Ethan replies, rolling his eyes. He’s known since Christmas, but doesn’t want to say. Mark’s got a goofy smile going on that’s far too cute for the situation. 

Ethan sighs and flops back onto the bed. 

“Can we just sleep? You just lost your girlfriend and I lost my best friend. Kind of a mood killer.”

Mark lies down with him, tangling their legs.

“God I was hoping you’d say that.” 

-

A week later, there’s a knock at Ethan’s door. He stops editing and answers it, finding probably the last person he thought it’d be. 

“Ally?” 

She steps in. She looks better than when she left. Not so devastated or crying. 

“I just..I wanted to come back and tell you I forgive you. I don’t hate you or even fault you. I know you tried to resist it. I know you can’t help who you fall for. I’m not over it but I miss you,” She sighs and crosses her arms, looking around the room cautiously, “he’s not here is he?” 

“No he’s not here. I..I don’t understand how you can forgive me, and so quickly.” They sit at Ethan’s table with drinks. 

“Well, I went home for a while. I did a lot of crying and I was angry for the first few days, then I went back and watched the videos after finding a conspiracy post from one of the fans. They sound crazy but they’re 100% right. You both looked so sad the whole time. Even when you were laughing and having fun. Honestly I don’t know how I didn’t notice something was up, seeing both of you everyday.” She explains. 

Ethan fiddles with the handle on his mug awkwardly, not exactly knowing what to say. 

“I’m sorry. For everything.” Ethan eventually says, not looking at her. She kicks his foot under the table, making him look at her. 

“Hey, I’m good, really. Consider this my blessing. I’m glad you have each other. If I could choose who I wanted Mark to cheat on me with you’d be it.” 

Ethan frowns in guilt. 

“It’s a joke, you okay?” she asks, sitting forward. Ethan shrugs as a reply. 

“Yeah..just, if the roles were reversed I don’t think I could do what you’re doing. Especially not after just a week.” 

Ally shrugs with a smile, then scans the room again. 

“Well I’m gonna head off. I don’t want to see him yet and I’m sure he’ll be here soon.” She stands up. 

“I haven’t seen him since the day you left, actually.” Ethan reveals, eyebrows furrowing. 

She stops in her tracks and slowly brings up a finger to point at him. 

“You better be joking.” She says angrily. 

“No? I thought you’d be happy knowing that.” 

“What?! After everything that’s happened you aren’t seeing him? I come back and give you my blessing and you aren’t even together?!” She sounds even angrier than when she found out about them for some reason. 

Ethan holds up his hands in surrender. 

“I don’t know? I guess it just doesn’t feel right, after seeing what it did to you. We couldn’t just run off into the sunset after hurting you so bad.” 

“What hurts me is that I went through all this pain and shit just to find out nobody gets each other in the end. Go to his place, right now. Be with him, you silly fuck.” She stands up and grabs her keys from the table. Ethan’s stands with her. 

“Shouldn’t we talk more? About everything? I feel like I’m walking on egg shells here.” Ethan confesses. Ally stops at the door and rolls her eyes. 

“You’ll get over that. We’ll be back to normal in no time. I’m off and I expect you to text me later letting me know that your place is free to sleep in since you’ll be at his. Go get him.”

Then she’s off. Ethan just stands there looking at the door in disbelief for a while. 

Eventually, he sits back down and wonders how he’s going to surpass the confused talk with Mark. 

-

Ethan’s standing at Mark’s door wondering if he should knock or just walk in, when the door opens. Mark stops in his tracks, cursing in surprise. By what he’s wearing, Ethan guesses he was headed for a run. 

“Ethan, hey, you okay?” Mark smells like he put on a bit of cologne. Ethan’s jaw clenches. 

“I want you to take me to your bed and fuck me.” Ethan says abruptly, surprising himself probably more than Mark. 

Mark’s eyes widen and he glances around like his neighbours are listening in or something. He pulls Ethan in and shuts the door, tossing his keys back in the bowl. 

“S-shouldn’t we talk? We haven’t seen each other in a week. Since Ally left.” He reminds him as if he forgot. Ethan raises an eyebrow and plays with the hem of his shirt. His very blue shirt. Mark watches the movement, throat working as he swallows. 

“I’m offering sex and you want to talk? You sure you love me?” He challenges. Mark’s eyes darken and he kicks his shoes off. 

“Of course I do. So much.” He’s too sweet. Ethan tries not to give up his impatient expression. 

“Maybe I’d believe you if we weren’t standing around doing nothing.” 

It works, of course. Mark pulls him to his bedroom and lies him down like he’s fragile, then fumbles around in his bedside table, getting probably a condom or lube or whatever. Then he’s back and he undresses Ethan, eyes never leaving him as he reveals more and more skin. 

Once Ethan’s fully nude, Mark stands and just looks at him. Ethan can’t help but feel exposed. He holds onto the duvet under himself so he doesn’t cover his body up with his hands. 

“You’re beautiful.” Mark says earnestly, then quickly shucks off his own clothes. He’s so hot. Then he’s grabbing what looks like lube, crawling on top of Ethan and hesitating just for a few seconds. 

“You know what you’re doing?” Ethan asks, nervous as Mark spreads the boy’s legs, squeezing lube onto his fingers. 

“Um, I watched a few videos.” Mark confesses, cheeks pinking. Ethan raises an eyebrow and places his hands behind his head. 

“Go ahead, then. Show me what you learned.” 

So Mark does. His finger presses to Ethan’s hole and circles wetly there, then he presses one finger in him slowly. 

It’s a weird feeling. It doesn’t hurt, but it’s not pleasurable either. It just kinda feels like someone’s got a finger up his arse. 

Mark doesn’t waste much time. When he starts to press in a second finger, then Ethan feels a weird stretching feeling. It’s still not painful, but definitely strange. Mark scissors his fingers and makes sure he’s relaxed and stretched before he’s adding a third. 

It only stings slightly. It’s not crazy painful, but Ethan’s still nervous. Maybe he’s just too busy being turned on by watching Mark watch his own fingers work to feel the pain. Besides, after a minute of Mark pumping his fingers, the pain wears off. He can hear the wetness as his fingers move. 

“Oh yeah..” Mark murmurs seemingly to himself like he’s remembered something, then suddenly his hand twists so his palm is towards the ceiling, and his fingers curl inside of him and press against something at an angle. 

Ethan has no control over his reaction. He gasps, back curling, pleasure zipping down his spine. 

“Fuck, w-what was that?” Ethan babbles, then moans when Mark does it again, more sure this time, watching his reaction with amazed eyes. 

“Prostate.” Mark simply says, then starts to massage him there. Ethan’s dick leaks a bit. 

“Stop before I—fuckin’ hell.” Ethan relaxes when Mark pulls his fingers out of him. So _that’s_ what the fanfictions always talked about. 

Then Mark’s rolling on a condom. He presses the tip of his cock against Ethan but doesn’t press in, pausing and looking to make sure he’s ready. 

“It’s gonna hurt. Tell me to stop if it’s too much.” Mark says, then takes Ethan’s hand like he’s in labour or something. Ethan prepares himself for the pain and takes a few deep breaths. He’s as ready as he’ll ever be. 

He nods. Mark exhales deeply and starts to press in agonisingly slow. He was right. It’s painful. No amount of prepping could truly prepare him. Ethan squeezes Mark’s hand and hisses. Mark stills and watches him carefully. Ethan nods quickly for him to keep going. Mark continues on, filling him up slow as he can. Halfway in, he stops himself and grips Ethan’s inner thigh with his free hand, eyebrows furrowing. 

“What’s wrong?” Ethan asks, keeping his breathing good. 

“So fucking tight. Just need a second.” He closes his eyes and looks up at the ceiling, taking a deep breath. He’s too turned on. Ethan can’t help but grin. 

They continue on, and once Mark’s bottomed out, Ethan feels fine. There’s no more pain. He’s gone so slow that the pain of the stretch doesn’t last long. 

“You okay? It hurts?” Mark asks worriedly. Ethan hums and nods. 

Mark pulls slowly out, then back in. He’s being extremely careful. It’s sweet and thoughtful, but Ethan’s got nothing but pleasure now. 

“C’mon, fuck me good.” Ethan complains. Mark raises an eyebrow but he doesn’t seem to have any objections. He pulls back and absolutely slams back in, pushing Ethan an itch or two up the bed. 

Ethan quickly grabs on of the bars of the headboard for support as Mark starts to fuck him proper, hand leaving his to hold Ethan’s thigh up as he properly gives him what he wants. 

Only one thing’s missing. The angle would be weird in this position so Ethan pushes at Mark until he pulls out. They switch places and Ethan crawls over him, straddling his lap. Mark watches him with wide eyes. 

Ethan goes to line it up again but stops, considering. Mark’s got his hands on Ethan’s thighs, eyes taking him in hungrily as he feels him up. 

“Don’t move.” Ethan says, standing up off of him and heading out of the room. He finds what he’s looking for still thrown on the table in the living room. He heads back down the hall and finds Mark’s touching himself a bit. 

“You moved.” Ethan observes. Mark raises a challenging eyebrow. 

“What you gonna do about it?” He asks, still touching himself. 

Ethan climbs onto him and takes his wrists, pushing them above his head and using the handcuffs from their video to lock him to the headboard. Mark bites his lip, watching his every move. He’s bigger than Ethan is and could easily take control at any point in time, but he just lets him do whatever he wants. 

Ethan leans back and feels for Mark’s dick under him. He presses against him but doesn’t let him slide in. Mark watches him so closely that he feels a tad self conscious, but Mark keeps pulling on his restraints like he wants to touch him, so he tries not to falter his movements, teasing him. 

“Fuck, I love you.” Mark suddenly says, wiggling under him like he can’t stand not being able to move freely. 

Ethan can’t help but smile. He leans down and kisses him, hands pressing up his chest and into his hair. Mark’s leg bends, pressing against Ethan’s back to try and pull him closer without hands. 

Ethan separates their lips and does a little experimental tug on Mark’s hair. He stills immediately. 

“Wanna touch me?” Ethan asks, then leans back so he’s on display. Mark nods quickly, cheeks pinking like they do every time Ethan gives him some pain. 

Ethan hums thoughtfully and trails a finger up Mark’s scar and pauses right by his nipple, swiping a thumb over the bud but not giving him the pain he wants. 

“Please, baby.” Mark whines, pulling at the handcuffs again. His wrists are starting to go red. 

Ethan lines himself up again and finally presses down onto Mark’s cock. Mark’s jaw slacks as he watches him, handcuffed hands forming fists. 

The new angle is perfect. Ethan can’t help but pleasure himself a bit, riding Mark and hitting that spot inside himself every time. Mark doesn’t seem to mind, anyway, eyes heavily lidded while he makes these deep groans every time he bottoms out. 

Ethan lets himself go for a bit, but eventually his thighs start to shake with the exertion. He’s a fit guy, sure, but the pleasure that zings up his spine with every thrust weakens him quite a bit. 

He slows to a stop and tries to calm down a bit, hoping his heart will stop pounding. 

There’s some clanking and suddenly he’s on his back. 

Mark’s above him, holding himself with one arm as he guides himself back to Ethan’s hole. He’s smirking cockily. 

“Wha—“

“There’s an emergency escape latch. They aren’t _real_ handcuffs after all.” Mark says, then presses back inside of him. 

Ethan gasps in pleasure, hands gripping Mark’s shoulders. 

“Why didn’t you use the latch before?” Ethan stutters. Mark presses kisses to his neck sweetly as if he’s not fucking him like a rabbit. 

“I like when you play power bottom. Hot as hell.” Mark murmurs, hair falling in his face as he looks down at him. 

“Why do you know all this gay terminolo—ah fuck.” Ethan’s back arches as Mark starts to jerk him off with the same rhythm as his thrusts. 

“Gonna come?” Mark asks. 

“Yeah, fuck, yeah.” Ethan babbles, letting his nails dig into Mark’s back as he gets close. 

Mark stutters a bit in reaction to the pain but maintains his rhythm. 

Ethan can’t say anything more, moaning as he comes between them, Mark jerking him off while pressing against his prostate almost too much pleasure. 

Mark falters a bit like he doesn’t know if he should continue, so Ethan holds him there with his leg so he knows he can keep going. Mark does, releasing within the minute, gasping into Ethan’s neck as he does. 

A few seconds pass of them just catching their breaths, before mark pulls out and tosses the condom. He flops down next to Ethan and sighs loudly. 

“Well...got my workout in anyway.” Mark jokes. Ethan chuckles, eyes closed as he basks in the aftermath. He’s never had better sex in his life. 

“I think I’m most definitely not straight.” Ethan replies, then feels Mark’s fingers in his hair, combing through the strands. It feels really nice. 

“I’m thinking..round two in the shower?” 

Ethan opens his eyes and peeks at Mark, who’s grinning. The afternoon sun is coming through the windows, basking him in light. He’s gorgeous. Ethan loves him so fucking much. 

They race to the shower, laughing along the way. 

—

Ethan wakes up gasping. He sits up, looking around the dimly lit room as he quickly realises it was just a nightmare. 

“Okay?” Mark mumbles sleepily. Ethan exhales shakily and lies back down, letting Mark pull him in for a cuddle. 

“Just a nightmare. Sorry to wake you.” Ethan says, heart still pounding. 

They lie together for a few minutes. Eventually, Mark tangles their fingers and presses a kiss to Ethan’s bare shoulder. 

“Tell me about the nightmare.” Mark says, clearly awake now. 

“It’s a bit fuzzy. We were like before. Just friends with girlfriends. Nothing had happened yet. We were just recording videos and having a good time.” 

“Doesn’t sound too bad.” Mark observes. Ethan squeezes his hand. 

“Then I went to bed after recording and I was alone. You weren’t there and my heart literally ate me from the inside out like a flesh eating disease. It was just about to kill me when I woke up.” 

Mark’s quiet for a bit, but his thumb rubs constant circles onto Ethan’s hand. 

“I have an idea for our next unus annus video.” He eventually says. Ethan blinks sleepily, already over the nightmare and ready to fall back asleep. It can’t be later than like 2AM or something. 

“What is it?” He replies. 

“Boyfriend tag.” 

Ethan’s eyes are opened immediately. He’s suddenly wide awake. They said the L word and all but never really talked about the fact that they’re literally dating. Or how they’re going to move forward with the videos. 

Ethan turns in Mark’s arms so they’re face to face. It’s dark but he can see him well enough. 

“You want to tell the fans?” Ethan asks. Mark shrugs, dipping his neck to press a sweet kiss to Ethan’s head. 

“I kinda want to tell everyone. I don’t want to hide this anymore. I don’t want to resist touching you because we have a camera on us. Is that okay with you?” 

Ethan smiles and kisses him. It’s mostly teeth because they’re both grinning stupidly. So stupidly in love. It’s way too cheesy, but it makes Ethan’s heart race like a schoolgirl with her crush. He pulls back and nods. 

“Definitely okay with me.” 

**Author's Note:**

> Please leave any thoughts below in the comments! :)


End file.
